Down's Syndrome Girl

This song was sung by Stewie Griffin.

Lyrics

 * You've got to look your best tonight,
 * You tubby little parasite,
 * 'Cause there's a lovely lady and she's waiting for you.
 * And though her pretty face may seem
 * A special person's wettest dream
 * Before you get to see it there are things you must do.
 * We'll try a tie and boutonniere of yellow
 * Or a rose that shows that you're a classy fellow
 * With the posh panache of Jefferson at Monticello
 * Busting out a mile with style.
 * I know you just can't wait to stare
 * At all that luscious orange hair
 * But, boy, before you touch a single curl,
 * You must impress that ultra bloomin',
 * All-consumin', poorly groomin'
 * Down's Syndrome girl.
 * On any normal day you reek
 * As if you're on a farting streak.
 * Your finger's up your nose And you are dripping with drool.
 * But if you want a lady's love,
 * You're better off by smelling of
 * A gentleman's cologne instead of sneakers and stool.
 * A squirt, a spurt
 * Of something just for Ellen
 * And you'll see, that she
 * Will find you so compellin'
 * And she does, because
 * The only smell that she'll be smellin'
 * Won't be coming from your bum.
 * (farts)
 * You wanna take that little whore
 * And spin her on the dancing floor,
 * But boy, before you do a single twirl,
 * You must impress that effervescing,
 * Self-possessing, no BS-ing
 * Down's Syndrome girl.
 * Her eyes are emerald portals
 * To a secret land of love
 * And her smile is like the sweetest summer flower.
 * Her kiss is so inviting
 * And her hugs are so delighting,
 * And what makes them really nice
 * Is that they've got a little spice,
 * Because they're tighter than a vise
 * And they go on for an hour.
 * (Stewie and Chris tap dance)
 * My boy, between the two of us,
 * We'll get you on that shorty bus
 * And then you're gonna take it for a whirl.
 * Now go impress that super-thrilling,
 * Wish-fulfilling, Yoo-Hoo spilling,
 * Ultra-swinging, boner-bringing,
 * Gaily singing, dingalinging,
 * Stupefying, fortifying,
 * As of Monday, shoelace tying,
 * Stimulating, titillating,
 * Kitty-cat impersonating,
 * Mega-rocking, pillow-talking,
 * Just a little crooked walking,
 * Coyly pouting, booby-sprouting:
 * For some reason always shouting,
 * Fascinating, captivating,
 * Happiness and joy creating...
 * (glass shatters)
 * Down's Syndrome Girl!