The Boogeyman

Theodore G. Boogeyman, mostly known by his nickname, Boogeyman, is a child killing monster that lives under beds and in closets.

Early Life
He was born on May 6th, 34000000000 BC in Kenny McKormick Hospital, Hell. Bogeyman was raised by an adoptive family. His biological parents gave him up for adoption upon birth, and to date, Bogeyman hasn't been able to locate his biological parents.

Bogeyman stood out in his family, particularly during family photos and family reunions. His adoptive parents, shunned by their families for adopting, neglected and abused Bogeyman, as did other members of his adoptive family while he was growing.

However, abuse was far from Bogeyman's troubles. He was forced to learn at home, as public schooling proved far too traumatic as Bogeyman was a constant victim of bullying. Around the age of 16, Bogeyman got involved with a local dance and theatre club where he developed his seemingly innate ability to perform on stage. However, even fellow Thespians couldn't help but comment on Bogeyman's appearance.

Criticism
Throughout his acting career, Bogeyman was criticized for his impulsive nature. Tabloids began making up several rumors, calling Bogeyman a wife-beater after his wife of 29 years, Bloody Mary, was photographed with a black eye.

Eventually, Bogeyman did punch somebody. In a 2001 incident, at the premier of "The Mummy Returns" (in which Bogeyman played one of the numerous ghouls in the The Army of Anubis), Bogeyman reportedly punched out a paparazzi photographer and was later arrested and charged with assault.

However, it wouldn't be the first time Bogeyman would be charged with a crime. Only weeks later, Bogeyman was arrested for public indecency after he ran to the center of Yankees Stadium and mooned thousands on national television. Bogeyman's lawyers argued that Bogeyman was intoxicated, and he was later absolved of charges.

Of course, after the 90's, Bogeyman could often be found with a bottle in his hand after he turned to alcoholism. Bogeyman even wrecked one of his sports cars after he drove it into a tree after a long night at the bar. He was hospitalized for three days and sustained a fractured arm, after which he decided to quit smoking.

Finally, in early 2005, Bogeyman came under fire after reporters starting rumors that Bogeyman was bulimic. Bogeyman denied the accusations, giving credit for his sudden weight-loss to his all vegan diet which he was inspired to start after being diagnosed with diabetes in 2004, possibly as a result of his alcoholism.

Sadly, in the March of 2005, Bogeyman was found masturbating furiously in a large pool of vomit, whilst staring at a photo of his mother, no less. When questioned for this incident, Bogeyman did not say a word, and continued on his way home. It is said by Bill Cosby, who was at the time in his super form, saw Bogeyman crying in a corner of his home. It was also said he was in fetal position, and sucking on a pacifier.

Current Life
Bogeyman has become reclusive since leaving Hollywood. Well past his years, he still practices his life-long hobby of scaring the shit out of children, a hobby founded by Walt Disney. Bogeyman claims it was a hobby that kept him sane during his time in Hollywood.

Unfortunately, in July of 2006, Bloody Mary filed for divorce from Bogeyman, and the two are no longer living together. Mary moved back to London and Bogeyman has been seen frequently picking up prostitutes, paying them in his autograph. His finances are rather low as a direct result of his divorce, which has lead him to a career of voice acting. He currently does the voice of Mr. Couch in Grue's Clues.

How to not make him kill you
Do not, I repeat DO NOT look under your bed or in your closet.

Do not throw a stick of dynamite under your bed or in your closet. That will piss him off.

Do not leave the light on in your closet.

Do not set your bed on fire.

Do not steal money from your closet.

Do not fart in your room, unless you want to be bitch slapped.

Do not let your cat or dog go under your bed.

Do not get your machine gun and aim in at the bed or the closet.

Do not throw a lit cigarette under your bed.

Do not called him Chuckles.

Do not let Isabella Garcia-Shapiro under your bed or in your closet. He will kill her and kill you.

Do not call the FBI that the Boogeyman is under your bed or in your closet. The Boogeyman won't kill you but the FBI will arrest you.

Do not shit into your closet.

Do not throw a singing Barney or Tickle-Me-Elmo into your closet (even if it's on fire).

Do not let bees in your room.

Do not moon the bogeyman, unless you want your ass to be cut off.

Do not sing Baby by Justin Bieber.

Do not let Justin Bieber go into your closet. He may be killed, but you will be too.

And absolutely do not let a tiger go in your closet.

Do not pee in your closet.

Do not dress up like Superman and tackle him.

Do not dance like a retard.

Filmography
Here are the most famous appearences